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My name is Shuwen
Shuwen is my name
I am Shuwen

I love photography, beauty, fortune, and worldly possessions.
I adore fawns, bunnies, starbucks, and eiffel tower.

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.
Sophistication is part and parcel of life.
Life is like a book of unravelling mysteries.
My life is God's novel, God is the author of my soul.

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Today is definitely not my day. I've made my parents so worried just because I didn't call back home. I saw my mum literally cried when I stepped into the house, and both my parents almost wanted to make a police report. I wonder is it all worth it, how many more lies can I make up just to fool my parents about me going to work? Why did I even work at the first place, if you're wondering. Actually, I don't exactly know either. Perhaps it's the freedom I get, the space I've gotten to express myself and who I am. Or maybe it's the statistician feeling I want to get, that your hard work is always paid off. You see, I'm just really very bothered about what happened today's IG. Basically, a test was conducted and it so happens that I really wasn't myself. I felt like a zombie, a puppet, so controlled and unable to be myself. For once after so long of my stay there the volcano had erupted. Halfway during the test I asked for a toilet break, and the first thing I went into the cubical I broke down. Initially I thought that I'll be fine after that moment of release, but it was later than I realise that I became like a crab who refuses to get out of its shell, where once I've procrastinated in wanting to stay a little longer, I stayed inside that tiny space throughout for two to three hours. I don't know how I manage to stay there for so long, but what I know was at that point of time so many things were running in my head, and what really hit me the most was these repetitive words: "I am not coming back, I am not coming back." The feeling is quite terrifying I should say. I don't really know how to put it in words, but I know that I never want to go through all these alone again. It's just like you feel so suffocated and it results in you really wanting to eliminate every thought and memory that has got to do with Rz. Why stay when it's so obvious that I'm not happy there. It's time to let go and move on...

I love it when you called me "sweetie." It never fails to make me burst into a smile! (:
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