is your secret safe tonight
introduction
Greetings earthlings! Welcome to yours truly's blog.
This is absolutely the most awesome place you are bypassing right now. (Nah, I'm just kidding)
I know you're here because you miss me! Come on, don't deny.
will they find our hiding place
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My name is Shuwen
Shuwen is my name
I am Shuwen
I love photography, beauty, fortune, and worldly possessions.
I adore fawns, bunnies, starbucks, and eiffel tower.
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.
Sophistication is part and parcel of life.
Life is like a book of unravelling mysteries.
My life is God's novel, God is the author of my soul.
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Monday, 8 August 2011 @ 07:59
Sometimes the easiest solution to
fall out of love in someone is to
fall in love with the other. So I tried, and I found out that I've just gotten myself into more trouble. Alright, let's change the subject for now. I hate changes occurring in my life. Do you feel the same way too? Okay, perhaps I shouldn't put it in a way where it's a bad thing. Changes are all part and parcel of life, in fact I am very open to changes. However, we all know that it's about being able to adapt to it that is bothering us most. Yes, right now I am actually quite bothered about certain issues.
Firstly, IG. Life is like a battling arena where you're constantly competing with others. The try outs for Nationals are drawing near and everyone are trying their very best to hit our target. Despite we all have our potential and capabilities in certain area, the reality is that the positions for Nationals are limited and there will be people who would be rejected. It's so pressurizing to see that majority of them are aiming for Nationals and how could I act as if I don't give a damn about it. Besides, how ironic it is that Cheerleading gives the impression that the sport is about teamwork, yet there are internal competition within the people inside. I miss the old times where I was introverted when I first stepped into Rz. Because now I'm slowly adapting to everyone and the lifestyle there that I'm slowly opening up myself more. "Oh! That's good isn't it?" No it isn't! How would you know people might not take advantage of your true colours to attack you? Would anyone be that dumb enough to openly reveal your weakness to people who notices you? Pardon me if I sounded a little harsh, I really can't cope with all these shit I'm feeling. Pressurized, insecure, threatened, paranoid...
Secondly, class. Time flies, it seems like it's only yesterday when it only week one. Later did I realise that it's already week fifteen; the ending of the annoying modules which also marks the nearing of the splitting of the class. I could still remember the very first time I met my classmates during orientation camp. I seriously had the thought that why are my future classmates-to-be seem so weird. Till now, my classmates are indeed still as weird as ever, but in a very beautiful way. Now I am really very reluctant when the last module arrives. Despite I've only officially started mingling around with a huge clique of my classmates only last month, I've manage to bond with these guys so well.
With this, it lead to my third point, him. I'm begining to open myself up for this particular guy in this class and I realised that I'm having deep feeling for him. It first started off with constant random teasing and it gradually became something with rather close contact. Then, the feeling evolved when I started to enjoy sticking around with him, and without me knowing, my feeling for him grew stronger and stronger. Very often I would fantasized that he is afterall someone who meets my requirement in the ideal guy I would love to be with. Tall, decent looking, born with a silver spoon, a twin, half Japanese half Taiwanese. But what about him that had really captured my heart was his maturity and his love for God. A classmate of mine once told me that he once had feelings for me, and I wonder does he still feels the same for me. But wait for a second. So what if he still had feelings for me? Does both parties like one another means we will end up together? It just sucks that it's only nearing the end of the semister then I started falling for him. What a pity, if only age wasn't an issue. Right now something in me is feeling so discomfort, so disheartened. The missing presence of him is causing me to feel so empty, so empty to the extend that I'm literally in the verge of crying due to the suffocating desperation. In addition to the the FB comment he just posted about "hospital beds," it's making me feel worst!
Snow Patrol - Run
This is probably the most amazing song that somehow has the ability to not bore me off after replaying it for umpteen times,
but never fails to bring back his image in my mind as I follow the lyrics word by word, sentence by sentence... Everyone has a particular song which they are fond of, it has a personal meaning to it where some creates a sense of nostalgia. I finally knew what it meant.
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